My own dad always downplayed the whole Father’s Day celebration. He wasn’t a particularly emotional man, and outside of being rather particular about when and what he ate, he was pretty low key. I find myself following in his footsteps when it comes to downplaying Father’s Day and have always encouraged my kids to do more for their mom and not to spend money on me. And now with the divorce, I’ve most certainly toned down any approach to the day.

And I have worked many Father’s Days, as do all first responders.

For me, Father’s Day is about being grateful—thankful for my dad and everything he did for me and our family, including modeling adult behavior. I’m also thankful for my own kids: for their health, for their love, and for the opportunity to watch them grow into adults.

There are many men and women who have had that opportunity ripped from their grasp, and it’s easy for us to take it for granted. I know I do. I’m so very grateful for the time I get to spend with my kids. They’re young adults now and busy AF.

I can’t talk to my dad anymore, except in my heart. The same with my mom. So, I am very appreciative to see and hear from my children on Father’s Day—on any day, really. I have no expectations beyond that. I know I’ve expressed to them my deep love, but it’s important for me to reinforce that with words and actions, knowing someday I won’t be here to tell them I love them or give out hugs.

How many words were left unspoken between myself and my father? I don’t know, but there are quite a few, I’m sure. I’d like to ensure my kids will always know, in their hearts, of my undying love for them.

I have found myself telling them, in hard times, that there is nothing they can do to stop me from loving them. Sure, I can get mad—but the love will always be there. That will never change. I’m going to make sure they know, beyond a doubt, that I love them with all my heart and each of them makes my chest swell with pride.

God bless one and all—fathers and mothers, sons and daughters too. I wish you all a safe and happy celebration.